You and your spouse decided that getting a divorce was the right choice for you after you had a drawn out argument that finally resulted in you both giving up on compromising. You were tired of fighting every day, and you realized that your life together wasn’t what it should be.
Now that you’ve decided to divorce, you and your spouse have gone to your respective attorneys and started looking into collecting documentation on your assets. Your children are all grown and out of your home, so you haven’t considered telling them yet. After all, this divorce shouldn’t affect them, right?
A divorce at any age can still affect your children
Even though you are divorcing after your children have grown up and moved out, that doesn’t mean that it won’t affect them. Emotionally, it may be upsetting for them to see what they felt was a successful marriage break down. They may be worried about conflicts between you or how to involve you both in their lives.
Another aspect to consider is how this divorce will impact your estate plans. If you happen to get remarried or you have children with someone else, your estate plan will change. Even now, your assets will potentially be changing ownership. These are all things to consider, since your children’s inheritances could be impacted by those changes.
When should you talk to your children about the divorce?
If you and your spouse can do so, it may be a good idea to have all your children join you for dinner one night or to come over to talk about the divorce together. This will eliminate the risk of a child finding out from a third party or stumbling on the fact that you’re divorcing without being told.
You and your spouse should prepare for the questions that your children are bound to have. Like with children at a younger age, you should reaffirm that you care about your children and that you’ll both continue to do your best to be a positive influence in their adult lives, even though you’re going to be divorced.
